This is Your Life
It is a disturbing thing to reach an age beyond what you had ever imagined yourself as. You don’t really realize that fact until you’re riding in the back of an ambulance on your 24th birthday, trying to assure your new wife over the phone that it was only a minor head-on collision. 🙂 This is my life. Only I didn’t know it until that moment.
As a kid, you start off with all these dreams. No one really has to tell you to dream them; you just do. I was going to be a baseball player (third baseman, Chicago White Sox, Rookie of the Year and MVP in the same year…nothing but the most choice dreams for me, hehe), a film director, composer, and actor (yep), and just for the fun of it, have a touring rock band that would put Coldplay (well, at the time, probably Smashing Pumpkins) to shame. And for whatever reason, whenever I pictured myself living those dreams, it was always at the age of 23. I suppose because that would have been the first year after 4 years of college. And then you smash into someone on a divided highway and suddenly realize that right here, right now…this is your life. Not ‘when I become this’ or ‘when I just make it here’…it’s now. It’s happening. You’re turning an age beyond what you’d ever thought you’d reach. And in short, you’re afraid.
(Sorry, I just had to throw a picture of Smashing Pumpkins in there. Oh ya. Now that’s the stuff childhood dreams are made out of.)
And that was my restart button. Fear is a useful thing. Suddenly everything started scaring me. The numbers on the scale, the increasing amount of skin visible on my head, the two pound Winco sack of sour rings next to my computer. (Ya, I had convinced myself that candy had no calories. Amazing what we can do with our minds when we set them to it.) And suddenly being past the age that I had ever imagined myself at, made me understand that life is now. No more preparing for it. Here it is.
And, a year and a half later (yes, I am now at the incredibly old age of 25…I have the strangest urge to yell at children to get off my lawn), I became the healthiest, greenest, organic-est, and fittest person in the world……of my mind. In reality, I go pick up the latest Starbucks-funded-Wilco-cd and buy a reduced fat blueberry muffin, and then feel all indie and excited and go on and on to my wife for the next week about how crazy it is that we were only intended to eat fruit and nuts and isn’t it sad what we’ve done to the world. Yep. This is my life.
However, the last year and a half has been the greatest time of the first third of my life. (Wow, it sucks to say that. But in a strange way, it’s also inspiring. In a desperate sort of way, but inspiring nonetheless. 😉 ) These past 18 months have seen an increase in working out for me. Far beyond my normal 1/8 mile jog only when it’s raining. (I love the rain…I don’t know why. Something about negatively charged ions? Really wish I was smarter than I am.) They’ve also seen 3, 10-day lemonade cleanses. That Stanley Burroughs’ Master Cleanse deal. Spectacular experiences. Uh, not while you’re on them. But afterwards….40 pounds gone, and mind and spirit soaring.
So now it is time for the next step. Starting today, my wife and I are going source fruits, vegetables, nuts and grains for two weeks. And that’s excluding any grain with the man-made vampiric particle known as gluten. And this blog is going to catalog our experiences. Now, it is a huge step for me to have written the ‘two weeks’ part. My nature is to assume that I cannot fail…at anything. Like Brad Pitt. (And I also have a bit of a big boy crush. I am married, people…and she is a girl, and she is wonderful. The best you could ever hope for. Doesn’t mean I can’t recognize a good-looking male when I see one. Hmm. I was trying to help my case, and I think I just hurt it.) But I’m trying to become more honest and vulnerable in my life. And that’s mostly with myself. It is a much more difficult thing to admit one’s failures on any type of tangible level to oneself, than it is to others. But I’m trying. So, I would love to say that we are going source vegetarian for the rest of our lives. But I have to admit…there’s this little place over at South Coast Plaza called Z’Tejas…and as much as I think animals are cute, they’ve got the best tasting piece of roasted cow flesh within two glutenous pieces of wheat that I have ever tasted. And I like it. No, the reality is passionate moderation. These first two weeks will jump start us, and then we will slowly add back in some lean meats, some sea salt, oils, stuff like that. Well, my wife will. Myself? I adore dairy. I mean, I get the fact that it’s pre-digested. Processed. Curdled. It grosses me out as much as the next ‘thinks-they’re-green’ guy. But I love string cheese.
So this is the adventures of an urban-living, apartment-dwelling couple, trying to live and eat like cavemen; even though they love cheese and Starbucks, and sometimes take the car to drive the half mile to the market. We’re not any super-green, organically-charged body builders. But this is our life. And we’re just starting to live it.
This is your life.